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It Is Because Of You That I'm Surviving.

Posted by Joanne Ma on

 

Our second mama diary entry is of a strong mom currently battling cancer as she's raising her daughter with special needs. Below is a love letter to the one who she feels is saving her life. 

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Dear sweet pea,

You may be too young to understand the definition of strength right now, but I’m here to tell you that YOU are it. I see you every morning with a smile on your face, forgetting that yesterday was one of the toughest days of your life. 

Forgetting that you barely ate breakfast because you could hardly sit up straight and may have practically starved all morning.

Forgetting that putting your shoes on took 15 minutes of screaming and crying.

Forgetting that the kids in the class were way too loud for your sensitive ears and you couldn’t focus on the picture on the wall you love so much.

Forgetting that all the other kids were running faster than you, climbing higher than you, and laughing harder than you.

Forgetting how frustrating and tiring it is when everyone around you just can’t understand what it is you want when it’s right there in front of them.

Forgetting how extremely upset you were because you couldn’t wear your favourite PJs as they were in the wash. That would upset me too. Comfort is everything.

You forget and you forget so easily. And when it happens again the next day, you endure it all but still go to bed with that beautiful smile on your face.

You, sweet pea, are the definition of strength. Without you in my life, I wouldn’t have a reason to survive. I wouldn’t have the reason to fight. I wouldn’t have the reason to believe cancer doesn’t own me. You are the reason that I get up every day with a smile on my face despite knowing it might be my very last day.

You may never read this nor understand how much you’ve changed my life, but maybe somewhere in a parallel universe you’ll look up at the same stars I do every night and feel the immense love and gratitude I have for you. You, sweet pea, may have saved me from my own demons, which is why I decided to give it all I’ve got in this fight. It’s easy to give up. Trust me, it’s very easy to give up. And maybe in another lifetime I had given up – that is, if you weren’t by my side. I see it more clearly now than I have ever before and it is because of you that I’ll keep fighting for.

Love forever and always,

Mom.

 

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To this mother who carries so much on her shoulders, you are a force to be reckon with. Your honesty and vulnerability in this letter shows the immense love you have for your daughter, something that is immeasurable and can most definitely be felt through every line of this page. Thank you for sharing this love letter of yours. 


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