Our first featured mama in this series is Jessica Birack. She is the successful owner and jewelry designer of Mint and Birch. With three kids under the age of 6, Jessica does all the designing, stamping, packaging, shipping, emailing, and everything in between at home so that she can be with her children while running her business. Jessica's shop can get extremely busy at times that she would have to often close up due to the overwhelming orders. One great thing about being a small business owner is that you can control the crazy. So when things get too much, you'll know when to slow down. Jessica is an incredible mother, women, friend, and entrepreneur. She always puts people first and will encourage and support her tribe of mamas from near and far. Chances are, you're probably already following her on IG as she shares her journey in motherhood quite candidly. Jessica had quite a traumatic birth with her third child and it nearly took her and her daughter's life. It definitely wasn't the birth plan, nor was it even close to it, so the experience itself became a major stressor and trigger of all things negative in how she felt about herself. Since that experience she's been more open to talking about the darkness that engulfed her. She has shared her birth story through her blog but this will be the first time she is writing something to herself. A way to reaffirm her sense of self.
Here's her mama diary followed by a glimpse of a day in her life.
I know your birth didn’t go as you’d dreamed and planned for. You experienced two home births and expected a 3rd home birth. Instead, you ended up with an emergency C-section under general anesthesia. You didn’t even get to go into labour and feel empowered by the strong contractions of your uterus, which carried and protected your baby for 9 months.
Your feelings are real. They're raw, and they are fresh. Let the tears come down, mama. You are not a bad mother for feeling sad even though your baby is perfectly healthy. You are allowed to feel sad. Sadness is not weakness. You may feel fragile, but you are a lioness. Experiencing your emotions is not a sign of weakness. In fact, it's the very opposite- it takes courage, bravery and strength to come face to face with your experiences.
I know you yearn and crave healing after this trauma. Know that that strength to heal is already within you. You don't need to be coerced or pushed into healing. Your strength is not going to materialize only after you "get over it," like some others have said. Your strength is already inside of you. I know it might not seem like it, and it may be hard to believe, but trust me when I say that it is. Build boundaries around those who are disrespectful of your healing journey. Don't listen to those who guilt you into "getting over it." Make sure you surround yourself only with those who will empower you and encourage you to reach within and grasp that strength. Your tribe is made up of those who are willing to be vulnerable with you, those who recognize your inherent value and see the strength that is already within you.
Please don't just "get over it." Your experiences are not something to shove under the carpet. Give yourself the space and grace to fully heal. Allow yourself to process everything and feel the emotions as they come. Sometimes the emotions will feel like big waves, and other times they will flow continually like a river. Be patient and gentle with yourself. And when you're ready, you'll find that the strength that is already in you will rise up from within and spark and ignite your soul.
Embrace yourself fully and wholeheartedly- you're a wildflower. Nothing could ever diminish your worth. You don't need to be perfect, because you are perfect the way you are. There is beauty in brokenness. Remember Kintsukuroi- your story is your gold. You are a beautiful mama, and this is your story.
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